On The Edge...Riding Down The Roller Coasters Of Life

How or where do I even begin to post anything right now...my life feels like it's on the edge of many of my BIG dreams...it's a scary place to be...I am also in a state that I could only describe as truly going on BLIND FAITH...continuing in a direction without having a clue of how it will all end up but continuing all the same because I BELIEVE that no matter what the outcome...whether it pains me deeply or brings me much joy...it will be the best thing for me because I trust God and know that HE knows what's best for me.  I'm not going to lie and say that it's an easy place to be...in reality it's pretty much the hardest place I've ever been.  It's a place where you have NO choice but to truly let go...at first you think it's easy and will continue to be...but when weeks go by without a word and you know you need to stay out of it...it gets very difficult.

Then recently, I've been feeling nudges of doing something about the situations I'm dealing with...like I'm being prepped for something BIG!!  What's completely amazing about this is that it isn't only about one thing in my life but almost everything in my life...I feel it's only fair to let you in on what I'm dealing with - of course not in full detail but only in a summary version:

*My husband and I have no children of our own and felt ready to become Foster Care Certified for years but earlier this Spring (April) I was asked by my cousin if I would please help her by fostering her Granddaughter...I said yes of course and since then my husband and I have been working very hard to become certified (and it was a lot of work and it included me giving up my art room, but we didn't mind at all).  In July we thought we were approved but then found out that we needed to be qualified through a county agency and needed to start all over again...again we didn't mind.  We were looking forward to welcoming not only a little girl but also her older brother into our lives by Halloween...then no, maybe Thanksgiving...but then the strangest thing happened...I can't say exactly what happened but only that in one conversation...I have been misjudged...and now not only are we definately not going to be able to have the children here for Christmas...but we may not get them at all...this event occured about 3 weeks ago and since then we have not heard from anyone...until recently finally I spoke with my 2nd cousin today and he let me know that he knows that I have done everything I could do and that he thinks we should be silent no more...that we need to let those in charge know that we will not let go without a fight (not literally of course).  His words were very liberating for me and I feel like I am preparing for whatever action I feel led to do next, as I dare not do anything yet without my Lord's leading and guiding me to what it is I need to do.

*The other issue is about my artwork...I know there is something more I am to do with my art and I feel the Lord whispering to me 'are you ready?' or 'you better be prepared' but the most exciting whisper is when I hear him telling me to just 'let go'...that 'it's time to fly'...this speaks to me in all areas of my life...Spiritually, Musically, and Artistically...

*Also for me Spiritually...personally...it's like I've been stuck in a cocoon state for so long...so long that I've let myself dwell in it...like I've made it into a pretty and cozy little home inside...like I've fooled myself into not venturing out because...well it's nice enough here...but sometimes it could feel a little lonely...don't get me wrong, I have my husband and my mom who are my best friends as well as my other family & friends who I adore with all my heart...but what I've been craving lately is to be around others who like to be creative like me...friends that we can inspire each other...I am feeling like I need to break down this cocoon for good so that I could venture out...into the garden of life!!

So as you can see...I have all these different angles of my life aiming in the same direction...like everything is about to catapult in the same direction at the same time...oh how I am filled with anticipation like when your on a roller coaster and you feel the butterflies and your at the top closing your eyes...on the verge of riding down the Collasus!  In fact, recently I watched this awesome video by Marie Forleo, in which she teaches about riding your fear...here's the link that I highly recommend:   http://youtu.be/9Sm-DWZw64s So here's to riding those big rollercoasters in our life!!

A Voice Of Thanksgiving...

My newest painting...Faith

Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. 
~Ephesians 5:20

I am so thankful for all the Lord has done for me and for what he continues to bless my life with!  I have been going through a very tough storm recently in my life...It's a place I never thought I'd ever be but the Lord has given me peace in my heart and I know that he is by my side and whatever the outcome of the situation it will be whatever is best for me and my husband's life...God's will is the best after all!!

*My Life's Anthem:  Unbreakable by Fireflight

So now I will keep pressing on...I have alot to do in this little life of mine...and the messages in my artwork is part of it!  Above is a new piece I am finishing up...I'm planning to add scripture but not sure where or if I should hand paint or stamp it...I'm sure it'll come to me soon! :)

So in a Voice of Thanksgiving...I am having a sale in my Etsy Boutique for this whole Thanksgiving weekend...20% off everything just use the following coupon at the checkout:  THNKSB2GOD
Here's my Etsy Boutique link:  Gina's Whimsy HeART

Be on the lookout as I will be adding more goodies tomorrow...today I'm gonna be enjoying my family time and giving lots of Thanks to God!!  :) Gina

Stretched and pulled...To a new perspective

*I actually began this post with the 1st paragraph about a month ago and just didn't feel sure if it was ready...adding the rest today I know that I didn't yet experience what I needed to fully express this new perspective!  FYI...it's long but not as long as it looks since I made the font size large.  ;)

********************************************************
For the last few months I have been going through an interesting phase...it really feels like I'm being spiritually and emotionally stretched and pulled...it's really a little complicated to explain but I felt that I needed to just blog how I've been feeling about this time of my life right now.

More recently alot of things about this world and things for me spiritually have been revealed and it has greatly impacted my perspective/view down to my soul...I know this is deep but most people that know me know that I am very spiritual and so this statement is just me...a very deeply spiritual person...being as such I have been praying even more and even more deeply.

I prayed often before but usually only for my own personal and family & friends needs...but now I pray every day for the whole world...we REALLY need HOPE in this world...in my perspective...JESUS is our ONLY HOPE!!  So if ever there is a time to pray for the world...the time is NOW!

What has been revealed to me happened in layers after praying for answers to things I have to deal with in my life...things that most people don't...I have found answers that have validated me and my experiences and then there are things that have been revealed that I didn't even ask about...some even about our world of which are very disturbing...but it led me to keep teaching what I always teach my Confirmation Students when they ask me about all the 'end of time' rumors...we all must be READY for our own end time...keep that in mind as you live your life...keep Jesus close...again I'll say...he is our ONLY hope!

Before these revelations I would not be so bold as to post my 'deeper' feelings of these matters but it's like the Lord has put it in my heart to be like a 'voice crying out in the wilderness'...in hopes that someone will hear...someone who needs to...if I'm meant to only reach that 'one' lost sheep then I have done my mission. It is my same view as when I teach Confirmation each year with my husband...we know we can't reach all of them but if we are able to help even only one then we've done our mission...we are being blessed with many students coming to us and letting us know that we have made a difference...some have even said they didn't believe until our class...that's what I'm here for...my mission in life!

As for my artworks...in the past it has mainly been for me...as a form of therapy...same as my singing, I usually only sing for the Lord...but I have for years known in my heart that these gifts were for more than that...just wasn't ready for it, still not really but I feel I don't have a choice anymore!  I have recieved through the years some artwork that I felt were 'Spiritually Inspired' and my latest one came to me at 3:00 am on Oct. 6th and it is a painting of Blessed Mother Mary holding baby Jesus...so it's titled 'Holding onto Hope'.

I have wanted to paint Mary w/baby Jesus since I began painting again around 7 yrs ago...I would even dream of them...but I didn't feel confident enough in my work...especially since my dream paintings looked like masterpieces...which I'm totally not there yet!  But this one painting I felt soo good about...it was a successful expression!  So you can expect more of my 'Spiritual Expressions' to come... more than before...of course I still need to do my 'therapuetic art' here and there but now my artwork too has a mission!

In addition to these expressions...my husband and I have for years wanted to start a praise band...he even finally got a drum set and has been practicing for a little over a year now...so we will be working on that part of our mission too...to PRAISE the Lord together...I will definately be mentioning more about that too!

I have also decided to do something for myself...for my personal and artlife growth...I was soo excited when I found out that a new Art Gallery opened up in my local Mall here in Moreno Valley... I really love all the plans the founder has and upon hearing that he needed volunteers I decided that I want to be a part of this movement...the gallery is called 'Vanguard Art Gallery' and I will definately be posting more about this as well!  I know that this is an another answered prayer for me as I would ask the Lord to lead and guide me to someone or a group who can help me to learn how to properly show my work and all the other things I need to establish myself as an artist.

About our foster/adopt process...it's a long complicated situation but it is in process...since this is a 'family sensitive' case I can't say too much but we are just keeping this in God's hands as there is no better place for it...we are Trusting in HIM to resolve this quickly for us!  We are hoping to hear good news this month...so please keep us in prayer for this...we greatly appreciate it!

So this is why I've been too busy to post as often as I should but I will try to more often than I have been...lol!  Please keep me in mind should you desire for me to create a custom artwork as a gift or for your home as I need to get my own car before we have our beautiful daughter and possibly son to be placed in our home!!  With that...God bless and have a wonderful week!  Cre8tvlyYrs, Gina

Welcoming the new chapter of my life...

As we enter this new season (my favorite by the way) of Autumn I am also so excited about the new chapter of my life!  To begin this post I'd like to introduce my 'Autumn Angels'...

Autumn Angel - Gladys



Autumn Angel - Abby

I actually drew and painted these in 2009 but it was right before I had that awful migraine fiasco which made it hard for me to do my artwork for a couple of months.  So I never got to 'tweek' them like I usually do with most of my work...so finally last Thursday I detailed the hair better on Glady's and added bg papers to both of the dresses and the leaves on the hats.  Little Abby got a whole face redo...as I was really unhappy with the first version...lol.

I am really happy with how these two came out and I'm going to do another version but on canvas and with both of them combined and I even bought some new paint in a new Autumn color scheme...can't wait to start that!!

Well the end of Summer came with a whole lot of drama and events to shake my world...from what I posted about last of my mom's cancer scare and then just this last Friday I had a real horrific experience of feeling like I lost my pets...it all ended with a happy ending...and I'll leave it at that...as I want to keep this post on a happy note! :)

I love this season of Autumn so much...it's the season where I can enjoy the days because it begins to cool down enough for me to go outdoors!   Today we are going to be finishing up our patio project and I'm going to be working on my seasonal home decorations right after I'm done here!  (Pictures of the completed home projects will be posted next time).

*As for our fostering/adoption situation...we need to start the process over but I am looking at it with a positive attitude and got over feeling disappointed because really that doesn't do any good and it's better to just keep moving forward with a clear and positive mind about it...I thank God for keeping me in that mind set!

In a way it seems like my artwork reflects a lot of these things I'm going through...I was able to finish up my little mermaid girl that I started last year at summers end and then finish my old artwork of my 'Autumn Angels' just in time to begin my new life's chapter!

We have a lot of things to look forward to and a lot of people and pets to cherish as long as we still are blessed to have them in our lives...that's what this new chapter of my life is about...CHERISH...really cherishing those we love...being that I recently had to deal with the thoughts of almost not having my mom or my lil fur girl Angela I really do know that I am cherishing them especially but also ALL of my loved ones here now and yet to come...thank you Lord for blessing me with all of them in my life!!

Rekindling My Motivation

*A bit of a lengthy Reflection...  ;)

Earlier today I was finding myself just going through the motions with my daily chores and even with my art supplies...just looking at it...feeling very confused about it again...but I thank God for showing me that all I needed to do was rekindle my motivation.  There are many times especially recently when I catch myself thinking negative thoughts towards myself...whether they are of my own brain or influenced by an outside source remains to be seen but I am glad that I am catching on sooner rather than later.  I used to not catch on until way too later but I know that due to my praying everyday for the Lord to lead and guide me...that he is!  I feel that it's important for me to blog about these things and whatever major life events happens...as this is a way for me to see my own progress with my artwork and life...and if I help a soul or two then this is not done in vain.

So 2 weekends ago...I was on a roll...feeling like I was accomplishing so much...then on the Monday after as I was working on reorganizing my art area I got a call from my dad...he was upset...and for those who know my dad, you know that's a rarity.  They had went to the Dr. that day due to my mom looking yellow and her liver count was high.  The Dr. told my parents that they seen a mass in her liver area and that it was most likely cancer...he did this without a biopsy!!  So you can imagine how this sent me into what I can only describe as a 'Super focus' mode on my mom...I could not think of anything and was very unproductive until my mom got home.

So from Monday through Tuesday I was at the hospital with my dad.  By Tuesday the doctors were now saying that it wasn't Cancer (Thank God).  We had so many family & friends praying for my mom so she was being showered in prayer coverage!!  By Wednesday...I was wiped out...my sugars were too high and it was like I was recouperating from what felt like a hangover!!  My mom was able to come home on Friday while they waited for all the test results and just yesterday we found out she is clear of cancer (they did many tests and biopsy's) but that she has auto immune hepattitus and are now treating her for this.  I thank God for my husband for being such a great support to me through all this!

Add to that...at the same time of all this going on that week we found out that we are going to have to start all over again to get our background checks and home inspections since we are now going to be fostering to adoption through the state...it's a long complicated story but we are strong and will go through what we need to but I won't lie...I am very disappointed and concerned for my little girl.  I guess these combined things slipped me into a little funk...which led to my post title.

I was trying to stay focused on getting back on track this week...doing pretty well...but it felt like such a struggle but I did it...I posted my first batch of original art for sale, which I have been needing to do for a long time now...so it felt good...but then when there were no responses...well, that's when those ugly negative thoughts started to creep in...I began to think, well maybe I'm not that good...should I even continue down this path?  Well when the even worse & critical self thoughts popped up I felt like all my creative energy was getting drained from me...even though last night I finished redoing my 2 'Autumn Angels' and was very happy with them...I began to look at my work and felt somewhat defeated.

I decided to watch some videos on youtube for inspiration and I found a few about getting motivated and in one of them this guy was saying to think of a time that I felt motivated...to learn or pay attention to what triggers my motivation.  I'm still trying to figure that one out...lol...but I thought to myself...you know maybe I should just work on something...so I decided to finish up my little mermaid...sort of a way to complete the process of saying goodbye to summer and hello to the new Autumn season...a new beginning to the next chapter of my life...a rekindling of my motivation!

'Marina' - Original Artwork by Gina Arzaga

 

Feeling so blessed...

Today is one of those days were I feel so blessed...blessed so much that almost anything that sounds beautiful or looks beautiful makes me teary eyed!  It's such a blissful feeling...knowing that in every thing I do...I am not alone and that the Lord is leading and guiding me!  I love the Lord sooo much...there are not enough words to even describe how I feel for him...for all the thanks & praise...not enough words...no word is sufficient to describe these feelings!!

Praise Birdies Series - Fly Like a Bird to the Lord, My Soul

I've been very productive with my artwork and it's taking me some time but I'm filling up my Etsy Shop as fast as I can!  I have so many products I'm working on like bookmarkers, Art prints, and I also decided that from now on I will only be producing jewelry that has my artwork on it...soo having fun with those...I'll post pics soon! 

Love Is In The Air - Illustrative Art

 In my personal life...God has definately been making things happen...we are very close for the arrival of a very special little girl named Cailan Marie (she is 3 1/2 yrs old) but we are going to not just be fostering but adopting her. For those of you who know my husband & I...you know how much this means for us!! We are very excited and cannot wait to meet her!

Live With Joy - Whimsy Blooms Series

 The Lord is answering many prayers that I have prayed for from long ago to even recent...I feel his love and he has been blessing me with so much...I feel like he's showering me with kisses and I'm loving every minute of it!! :)

God Bless & Cre8tvlyYrs, Gina

'Roots Of Faith' Trees Series - #2 Tree Of Life

 

My Whimsy HeArt...

Gina's Whimsy HeArt Boutique

Well it took me all month...but I finally did it...I have finally
re-opened my Etsy shop!!  After a couple of months of thinking about it and praying for direction on where to go with my art...whether my art is of value or 'good enough'...well the Lord had answered me about this and other things going on in my life...he told me 'YES' my art is of value and that I am 'good enough'...not directly to me in those words but in so many little ways and conversations with others.

What's amazing is that as soon as I finally felt it in my heart...my creative flow returned in abundance!!  Since then I have been painting so many new pieces of art and have soo many more in the works!  That's what led me to call my etsy shop *Gina's Whimsy HeArt Boutique*!!  Love the name and I am definately loving all the art and ideas flowing my way!!

So in the beginning of the month I was getting pics ready and working on getting the shop set up...it took me longer than I intended but we have so many other things going on especially being blessed with a miracle to adopt a very special little girl named Cailan!   There are so many wonderful things going on in my life right now!

To kick things off for my Boutique 'Re-Opening' I have a coupon code for 15% off for this Labor Day Weekend only and you can only get the code on my 'Like' page...and since I'm also going to do some give aways there this weekend you may want to stop by! :)  To check out my Etsy Shop/Boutique just click on the announcement above and it'll take you there!

I will be adding more things soon but not until after Labor Day weekend as I am going to be too busy this weekend...tonight is my Cousin Sarah's B-day party, tomorrow is my Cousin Mariah's 16th B-day party and then on Sunday we are going to have some special company over!  Well with all that...I better get to finishing up some B-day cards!!  God Bless & Cre8tvlyYrs, Gina :)