On my way now...getting ready to try out my wings!

I did it...well at least the main part! It really felt good to just move or as I like to call "dance" my paintbrush on the canvas! I am planning to add some new techniques to this so I'll post it as soon as it's officially finished! I really like the richness of the colors on the black background and what's even cooler is that I don't have to outline my painted subject. As I'm developing my style I noticed that I really like to outline my art w/ black or even white as it really makes them pop!!

I was going through my artwork yesterday as I was showing a dear friend of mine what I've been up to and I can't believe that it's been already 3 years since I began painting again! I've always been drawing for years but didn't begin painting on canvas until 2007. I used to paint here and there before but more like home decor type of stuff...you know like tole painting on wood pieces for gifts and holiday craft fairs. I used to be really into crafting and even used to sell at little crafts fairs magnets and wall plaques for decorations. It's funny because even though I enjoyed creating those pieces sometimes they they would come out too 'artsy' which led me to eventually follow my heart! So now I will be getting ready to try out my wings...watch out world...I'm on my way now!!

Taking baby steps...

with my creativity: Here's my newest Artwork in Progress, which I haven't yet felt inspired with a title for yet. I have a few 16"x20" canvases that I had painted black a while back to try painting on black instead of white, so I sketched a flying heart on it and began to paint...a little.

Back before I had that hospital scare I would have painted a whole painting and then perhaps even start a new one. But these days...let's just say that I am happy just to be painting again. I never would have thought that I would be in a state of creative halt that I am needing to take baby steps to get back in to doing that which I really love to do.

So here is what I painted in less than 10 minutes on Day 1 (Tuesday 5/18):

On Day 2 (5/19) I added the wings, also in about 5 - 10 minutes:

On Day 3 (today 5/20) here is a bright color of green I added in less than 5 minutes.

So at this point I am definately taking baby steps in my artistic path but I know that in no time I'll be able to run down the path again soon!!

Inspired by the color BLUE...

Lately I have become so attracted to the color blue...of course blue skies are my favorites but I usually get pink as much as possible. So when my dh & I went to get paint for my new Art/Craft Room I knew I wanted a nice shade of blue...not pink! My Artie was surprised yet relieved at the same time and I am sooo glad I chose blue too! I am so happy because I FINALLY finished putting together my room! Here's a little look at my journey to this itty bitty accomplishment:

First I started to paint the edges & corners as my nephew/Godson Fabi helped me by painting with the roller and in no time voila it was all blue! So I began to get my studio together back in March...

But then I got stuck right here...I'm too embarrassed to show how bad it actually got but it was definately what you would call 'Creative Chaos and Clutter'! I not only got stuck on what to do next in here but also I was stuck creatively! My dog Angela even looked uncomfortable when I'd bring her to her cubby in the evening...no wonder huh?

So I finally 'super focused' this weekend on finishing and now my room is nice and finally put together!! I got my supplies and zones all set for me when I'm ready to CREATE!! I'm sooo excited and feel inspired! Here's the paper/paint section: My white cubby holds all my scrapbook paper and the little desk is my 'card making' zone...and of course this is my painting zone:

and my puppy is even happy to go mimi's in her little zone too! :)

The year of changes continues...Remodeling Part 2

Well it is now Mother's Day...which has always been bittersweet for me. I am happy to celebrate my mom's, and all my family & friends who are mom's but I couldn't help but to feel a silence of sadness. It's actually a little louder now since I am 41 and still haven't had a child of my own...I usually push out any thoughts of this and try to keep myself as distracted as possible. This year is different...I guess it's all a part of this year of changes for me.

I don't feel too sad, in fact, I'm just allowing myself to think about it...but not in a feel sorry for myself kind of way. I've actually realized that I am a mom spiritually to 2 of my miscarried babies, so in that way I can feel blessed that at least I will get to meet them one day. :) I named my first baby Michael whom was miscarried January 1996 and the 2nd is Julia Estrella miscarried July 2000. So imagine my surprise when I realized that I really am a mom! I can't believe it took me so long to see this! Happy Mother's Day to me after all!! :)

I know the title of this blog is a little misleading since I'm not yet remodeling my home but I am a work in progress mentally, spiritual and physically! So just keep in mind that when you see 'remodeling' in my blog titles it may not necessarily be about a home improvement project but of a 'me' improvement! :) God bless you all and Happy Mother's Day to all of us mom's!!

Just Live Life...

Live in the now - not the past...Life is too short to keep looking back!

That's how I've been living these days! In fact, I had a really good talk with my cousin today and she reminded me of this. You see, I've been trying to be aware of everything going on with my spirituality, husband, family, household, me...which has left me little time to focus on my artwork. Which I have expressed has made me feel a little sad, but not too much because I am enjoying being distracted with my family life and sooo many events going on lately! She understood how I felt but simply said "Yeah, but Gina, those things are important." It was a moment of transition for me because I realized that I really have been living life fully!

I'm used to getting lost in something; books, scrapbooking, designing, drawing, painting. So when I mentioned that I noticed I haven't really felt 'creative' like I used to be before I had my little hospital visit and she asked me something no one has ever asked me... "what have you replaced your creativity with?" Then I realized that it was life, connecting with old friends via Facebook, reconnecting with family at family gatherings...actually sitting there and having a focused conversation with them...not with a laptop designing while I chat nor any sketch pads and markers/colored pencils doodling while supposedly listening to their conversations...it really is a good replacement and I'm so glad that I finally realized that! :)

This alone has seemed to open up in me a fountain of inspiration! I actually feel good inside, that I have been enjoying life more instead of trying to drown out my sorrows or tune out my depression with things that have no meaning...things that don't matter... unless they are inspired by the love of our loved ones all around us!

I feel that this revalation is just what I needed to regain my creative flow but in a more balanced manner...painting with more happier emotions instead of wishing for them! :) On that note, I will go now as I have a busy day tomorrow...it's my mom's 60th Birthday Party and we are going to celebrate her!! Happy Birthday mom...I love you! And thank you my beautiful cousin Sarah for being there for me this week...I really needed that! :) God bless you all! :) Gina

Just wondering...or should I say wandering?

I'm beginning to wonder what's this reason for my current state of life I'm in...it's more like I'm wandering through life with no direction. I feel as though I don't know how to connect with others enough to make new friends or even enough to keep some others who I thought were friends. I do realize that the Lord is working with me as he's been making me aware of these things and I've been reflecting alot in my mind when things quiet down. Which is probably why I can't seem to fall asleep like a normal person. I've already accepted that I'm not your average person...so what more can I expect? lol

I have been more focused on my family connections, repairing some unraveled bonds and also trying to secure others. Especially now that I've seen how much damage the last battle with depression I went through over my grandmother's death has caused many of my family & friend relationships. Some are better than before and other's I'm afraid they are lost like ships being pulled away by different currents. I'm also feeling frustrated with my ADHD symptoms interfering with different relationships. My mind gets exhausted trying to keep up with all the activities and gatherings going on. I realize that I need treatment but remembering to go to the Dr. for the meds is a joke.

I do feel though that things are getting better despite this wierd stage of life I'm going through. I also feel the sparks of inspiration in my mind which I know will soon become a fire...which is probably what I'm waiting for!

The Color Blue

An Easter Poem by Gina Arzaga
4/3/2010

Amidst all the tragedies constantly evolving around us,
we must hold on to hope as in the color blue.
The sky is a reminder of all the goodness in this world,
it is a token of affection from our Creator above.

Through it he brings us sunshine and rain,
as though he is telling us that he hasn't forgotten us.
Even though so many have forgotten him,
forgotten all that he has done for us.

The sky itself will dazzle us in a beautiful shade of blue
to demonstrate for us the celebration of Christ's Resurrection.

Oh how the sky must have delighted to feel the Lord's Glorious presence as he rose from the earth, passing through the clouds, up back to Heaven...through the color blue.