Saturday, February 26, 2011

Without RAIN there would be no RAINBOWS...

Well it's been raining pretty much all through the night...which was the perfect ending to my day yesterday! I had a large dose of "tough love' yesterday about some personal know one of those days when you have to hear things about yourself that your not all that proud of? I usually don't like to post about the really personal stuff I deal with but I realized that I do need to change a lot of things and without going into details I wanted to include this part of my life here...sort of to document the dramatic changes I believe my life will be unfolding very soon. I believe that my artwork will be greatly impacted with the 'insight intervention' I recieved from 3 very close and dear people to my was very difficult but I realize that it was necessary. Without going into details I'd just like to share the main reason for yesterdays 'tough love' session was due to my lifelong struggles with being ADD/ADHD. I had already realized I need to get on meds for it but yesterday really gave me a shove into knowing just how urgent I need to make changes in my life. I don't want this post to sound melocholy or too dramatic and I promise it will end in a better note...but lately I had been feeling as though I were living such dreary life...kind of like a ghost that's stuck in a house just wandering through it day by faith was basically the only thing getting me through each day but I also hadn't realized how little my faith actually had become. I felt I was only alive around my family and when I was around my Confirmation students but I was giving all I had without refueling myself...which I have always done...give of myself until there's nothing left. So it took my husband, and both my parents to come and shake me awake from this horrible nightmare of a life...they want me to live to my fullest do we all feel that the only way for me to get on the right track to my life's destination is to take the meds required to help me deal with my ADD/ADHD symptoms that are making my life so difficult. I really would like to point out here that ADD/ADHD is not an excuse nor is it all that bad...there are actually awesome things about being ADD/ADHD such as 'super focus' which would help me create awesome artwork among other things but the distractions as well as the 'super focus' grew out of control to the point of not being very productive at all...and had even effected my health and well being...that is what caused all the grey misty clouds that surrounded my haunted house in my life...yesterday was the final rain sort of how the rain is still falling all around my home right now as I type these words...the rain in life that is necessary to wash away all the dirty gunk on the windows of my soul and allows me to finally see the rainbow when the sun shines and pierces through the clouds...yes it is so true...without rain, there would be no rainbows! Here's to a a new beginning...I am looking forward to seeing how my life will change to finally have this 'brilliant' mind of mine under control! I'm hoping to be able to get started on the meds this week...then maybe I could also be a little more consistent with my posts here too! ;) God bless you all...especially if you took the time to read this post! :)

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