Hello to anyone who happens to stop by and read this...also this is just my spot to document my artful life's journey...well I can't believe just how much time has went by and how much my life has changed since then. Sooo soon after my last post, I kind of lost my creative energy...my mind just couldn't go there...I had soo much on my mind and there were a lot of unexpected personal challenges I went through as well...as much as I hated what happened, it helped me to realize who my real 'peeps' are...they really helped me get through a very emotional time...most of all it reminded me just how much the Lord is always there for me and he really held me close and kept love from fleeing from my heart...and so I still go on and I can still love!
Of course life isn't perfect but it has improved greatly and the saying "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" is definately one that I can testify to! I'm also very happy with our little girl...she may not be my baby from my womb but she is from my heart!! She is doing so well, some days can be challenging but I realized that those are the times that she is hurting the most emotionally and I have been able to help her get through those 'fits of rage' just by being there for her and letting her feel secure in my arms. This has been very healing for her and bonding for us. We are now in the mid point of adopting her but I know that there are other "issues" that we'll have to deal with...but for now we are just celebrating all the improvements and good days!
As for my personal/spiritual growth...yesterday I experienced something that accellerated that growth and the only word I can come up with to express this experience is that it left me "flabbergasted"...not even sure what that word means but for some reason is the only word I can come up with...lol! It was a very unexpected experience and basically I was given a very special message from a very special person...it was very healing for me and I felt that a weight was lifted from my heart...a very heavy burden that I was carrying for years...for me this experience was provided for me to finally move forward. I had been praying for weeks for the Lord to lead and guide me and help me from my moments when I feel like I am soo stuck!
When I feel stuck...it's like I feel like even giving up on my dreams...I feel sometimes like why should I bother...like my joy is taken away...then I pray and pray and ask the Lord to help me get through those times and when he does it is soo awesome...so for me about 2 months ago is when I recieved my breakthrough and my creativity came raining down on me...and I KNOW IT IS the rain that comes from Heaven above!! So when I shared with my husband about this...he said to me something that touched my heart...he said "Don't give up on your dream...that is who you are...he reminded me about the time he needed to wait in a 5 hour long line...in the rain and on his birthday on top of that in order to just apply for the job that he has had for the last 13 years which has made it possible for him to provide for us a new home, vehicles, and life's neccessities...he reminded me to not give up no matter how long I have to stay in line for my turn to come...it is amazing how we can forget that if something is worth anything of value to ourselves...then it is worth the wait! The Lord is so amazing how in just a matter of a few days he sent many messages through different messengers to remind me not to give up...especially on my dreams!