Monday, February 10, 2014

Signs From Heaven

I believe in signs from Heaven and I believe in looking for confirmations of what I'm wondering or praying about in three's...and the Lord has been giving me so many signs...more than keep flying and to continue to 'Imagine' where he wants to lead me the gifts he has given me.

So about month ago or so, we had a very negative experience due to our adoption was so upsetting that it totally took all my energy and stopped my creative began to make me doubt myself and whether I should even bother to continue what I'm it even meaningful and was it meaningful enough to continue to pursue my desire to do more with it?

The next day I shared how I felt with my husband...I felt defeated and was so touched when he lovingly told me "No, not to give keep going...I'll get there" of course not all the words exactly but he was basically telling me that he believed in me...and that meant a lot to me!  Then later that day my sweet baby girl who has absolutely no idea what I had been going through comes up to me and tells me that I'm the bestest artist in the world and I'm the best at making sooo many things!  I felt like I had my very own cheer leader!  Later that week, when I shared with my mom about how that weekend had affected me she told me not to dare let those things stop me.

I also received many other 'signs' everyday on Facebook...and even in different videos on the signs were flying in from every where even if people had no idea they were leaving a message for me!  Then a few weeks ago, a very good neighbor of ours stopped by to visit and I was sharing with him about the stuff we had gone through and I know now he was sent by God to give me a very encouraging message...he told me not to allow those negative things to interfere with my creative process because my art is so inspiring and it makes people feel good...he had no idea how I was allowing what we had went through to make me question whether or not I should continue to do what I do.

I know that no matter what happens in my life...the good the bad and the ugly...that I'm an artist and as an artist, I need to's like breathing to me...and if I should ever doubt myself I can just come here and read this post for encouragement because just this weekend I finished my Valentina 2014 and feel it's my best one yet!  I am so humbly touched by all the comments I've received about her already feels good to know that my work is touching others...and that's what makes me feel good about continuing to keep creating art that comes from my heart and touch others' hearts as well.

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

*Reflections: Like A Cloudy Day...Dancing In The Rain!

The past few days, since last Friday have been like a cloudy day...with a blue sky peeking through the background...right now it is cloudy outside and since that captured how these past few days have been for me I decided to go with that for the title of this post.  So lately, it's been challenging...Life in general...some days are soo beautiful like the blue sky days and others have been way to challenging.

For those of you who happen to just find my blog...I am fostering to adopt a little girl who happens to also be my relative (third cousin) and I have discovered just this year not too long ago of how that in itself will be an ongoing challenge.  I have decided to start a new blog for that and so I will post a link for it when I get it all set up.  Especially since I'd like this blog to be focused more on my artwork and creative processes and a little personal reflecting here and there. :)

So why else would I say "like a cloudy day"?  Well, I feel like I've been learning a lot and lessons are hard to learn...sometimes they make you feel depressed (gloomy grey clouds), heartbroken (rain of tears), and then also so happy when I've experienced breakthroughs (like sunshine bursting through the clouds) and even though I experience all these emotions I know my Lord is with me always, guiding me through and that brings me peace (like the blue skies).

But sometimes I get so overwhelmed especially when all those lessons come all at once and the only way for me to push forward is when I 'blog' about it...don't know why...but it does!  I do art journal but it's a different type of therapy for I am a strong believer in the healing that art therapy can provide as a way to 'express' yourself.  But since I am also a writer...I guess sometimes I need to just get my thoughts out there...blogging helps me to do this but in a more focused and optimistic manner.

When I journal for myself I tend to focus more on the negative and when I read through that it leaves an ugly feeling in my stomach...but whenever I blog I tend to focus on the positive and then when I reread these posts they actually make me feel better since I can see where I've struggled but feel good knowing how I've overcome those times.

Without all the details since it is way to personal...I experienced the most vast array of emotions all in one night...Saturday...I had a night mainly full of fun and laughter and reconnected with so many people that I treasure the most...but also along with that I experienced heartache and betrayal...which led to an unhappy ending of what was a wonderful evening...if that is at all possible...of course, I would be the one to have that I know that the Lord knows I can handle it!

The next day was a day of mixed emotions and revelations...I accepted some of the ugly as I can not do anything about some of it and the most important of all I dealt with and was satisfied with the outcome of it.  Love in itself is powerful and I learned that night that sometimes we have to accept some things and show that the Love in our heart is strong and can prevail.

I am moving on...I am looking forward...I am not going to let myself stay fallen on the ground...I have stood back on my feet and I will keep dancing in the rain!!