Sunday, April 25, 2010

Just Live Life...

Live in the now - not the past...Life is too short to keep looking back!

That's how I've been living these days! In fact, I had a really good talk with my cousin today and she reminded me of this. You see, I've been trying to be aware of everything going on with my spirituality, husband, family, household, me...which has left me little time to focus on my artwork. Which I have expressed has made me feel a little sad, but not too much because I am enjoying being distracted with my family life and sooo many events going on lately! She understood how I felt but simply said "Yeah, but Gina, those things are important." It was a moment of transition for me because I realized that I really have been living life fully!

I'm used to getting lost in something; books, scrapbooking, designing, drawing, painting. So when I mentioned that I noticed I haven't really felt 'creative' like I used to be before I had my little hospital visit and she asked me something no one has ever asked me... "what have you replaced your creativity with?" Then I realized that it was life, connecting with old friends via Facebook, reconnecting with family at family gatherings...actually sitting there and having a focused conversation with them...not with a laptop designing while I chat nor any sketch pads and markers/colored pencils doodling while supposedly listening to their really is a good replacement and I'm so glad that I finally realized that! :)

This alone has seemed to open up in me a fountain of inspiration! I actually feel good inside, that I have been enjoying life more instead of trying to drown out my sorrows or tune out my depression with things that have no meaning...things that don't matter... unless they are inspired by the love of our loved ones all around us!

I feel that this revalation is just what I needed to regain my creative flow but in a more balanced manner...painting with more happier emotions instead of wishing for them! :) On that note, I will go now as I have a busy day's my mom's 60th Birthday Party and we are going to celebrate her!! Happy Birthday mom...I love you! And thank you my beautiful cousin Sarah for being there for me this week...I really needed that! :) God bless you all! :) Gina

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Just wondering...or should I say wandering?

I'm beginning to wonder what's this reason for my current state of life I'm's more like I'm wandering through life with no direction. I feel as though I don't know how to connect with others enough to make new friends or even enough to keep some others who I thought were friends. I do realize that the Lord is working with me as he's been making me aware of these things and I've been reflecting alot in my mind when things quiet down. Which is probably why I can't seem to fall asleep like a normal person. I've already accepted that I'm not your average what more can I expect? lol

I have been more focused on my family connections, repairing some unraveled bonds and also trying to secure others. Especially now that I've seen how much damage the last battle with depression I went through over my grandmother's death has caused many of my family & friend relationships. Some are better than before and other's I'm afraid they are lost like ships being pulled away by different currents. I'm also feeling frustrated with my ADHD symptoms interfering with different relationships. My mind gets exhausted trying to keep up with all the activities and gatherings going on. I realize that I need treatment but remembering to go to the Dr. for the meds is a joke.

I do feel though that things are getting better despite this wierd stage of life I'm going through. I also feel the sparks of inspiration in my mind which I know will soon become a fire...which is probably what I'm waiting for!

Saturday, April 3, 2010

The Color Blue

An Easter Poem by Gina Arzaga

Amidst all the tragedies constantly evolving around us,
we must hold on to hope as in the color blue.
The sky is a reminder of all the goodness in this world,
it is a token of affection from our Creator above.

Through it he brings us sunshine and rain,
as though he is telling us that he hasn't forgotten us.
Even though so many have forgotten him,
forgotten all that he has done for us.

The sky itself will dazzle us in a beautiful shade of blue
to demonstrate for us the celebration of Christ's Resurrection.

Oh how the sky must have delighted to feel the Lord's Glorious presence as he rose from the earth, passing through the clouds, up back to Heaven...through the color blue.