Sunday, April 11, 2010

Just wondering...or should I say wandering?

I'm beginning to wonder what's this reason for my current state of life I'm's more like I'm wandering through life with no direction. I feel as though I don't know how to connect with others enough to make new friends or even enough to keep some others who I thought were friends. I do realize that the Lord is working with me as he's been making me aware of these things and I've been reflecting alot in my mind when things quiet down. Which is probably why I can't seem to fall asleep like a normal person. I've already accepted that I'm not your average what more can I expect? lol

I have been more focused on my family connections, repairing some unraveled bonds and also trying to secure others. Especially now that I've seen how much damage the last battle with depression I went through over my grandmother's death has caused many of my family & friend relationships. Some are better than before and other's I'm afraid they are lost like ships being pulled away by different currents. I'm also feeling frustrated with my ADHD symptoms interfering with different relationships. My mind gets exhausted trying to keep up with all the activities and gatherings going on. I realize that I need treatment but remembering to go to the Dr. for the meds is a joke.

I do feel though that things are getting better despite this wierd stage of life I'm going through. I also feel the sparks of inspiration in my mind which I know will soon become a fire...which is probably what I'm waiting for!

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