As I am typing these words...I'm still trying to find the best way to express what I need to say here...I guess as a way to leave a testimony of where I am right now and if it helps even one person than I have done what I was sent here to do...at this time in my life I have been struggling with my perspective about this world...and my life...I know I am a wife, mother, daughter, sister, auntie, Godmother (nina) and friend (to what seems like very few these days for that matter), I know I am a woman of God, Follower of Christ (Christian), and an Artist (mixed-media).
So with all that in mind...I still struggle...I struggle with how I am feeling about all the ugliness and horrible things going on in this world...before there seemed to be more good than bad and that made life more bearable...but these days, it seems that more and more bad is happening...so this is where I struggle...which is why I believe I've been unable to do what I really love to do...my artwork...I've been keeping myself busy with being creative...I have to do that...it's the only thing keeping me from getting too overwhelmed but I haven't been able to create my own original work for months.
In fact just a few weeks ago I was talking with my mom (who also happens to be my BFF) about how I can't seem to do my own original art these days...not even doodling or sketching...she brought up a good point...that maybe that part of me is dormant, you know asleep due to all the stress and challenges that my husband and I had endured this last year (getting our little girl and finalizing her adoption to the water damage in our home and on to other personal challenges)...well that thought really intrigued me...it totally made sense. Then my husband also mentioned to me to start with baby steps...which I have been trying out...but I guess I'm still struggling because I feel like how can I do my artwork knowing of all the crazy and ugly things happening in this world?
Then the Lord...in all his goodness reminded me of why I have been created to be an artist...why he made me this way...to do what I do...and why I need to continue to do it...the birds do not stop singing...they keep flying...they never doubt in what they do...and the little presence of them in my yard alone brings me much joy...they bring a smile to my face and healing...he wants me to not stop what he has designed for me to do...I may not be able to stop the horrors happening in the world but I can keep praying for the world...and I can keep being the creative person I am meant to be...if what I do touches only one...then I've done what I was meant to do.
Soooo after this long process of what has to be one of the longest times for me to self reflect of what it is I am meant to do in this world (in addition to being a wife, mommy, daughter, sister, auntie, and friend) I am meant to be an artist and it is important...I will keep this thought in my heart in each type of art or craft project I create...to bring a little piece of my joyfulness out into the world...to share it so that I can make others feel joy too!
As a way to accept this 'revelation' I have done something I don't think I could have done before...I am taking a step of Faith (which really feels more like a leap) and I have entered an art contest...well it's more like a talent search. Just days after realizing that I need to do something...move in a new direction...after praying for years but more so recently to the Lord about what is it exactly that I need to do with my art? I was somehow led to find this contest...Lila Rogers' Global Talent Search ~ now when I seen all the talent from last year, it really intimidated me...then I decided that I need to just 'go for it' to let myself "Just Bloom"! because even if I don't win...at least I am doing something different, I am moving in a different direction...I am believing in myself enough to do this!!
Thanks for letting me share...God bless! Cre8tvlyYrs, Gina
So with all that in mind...I still struggle...I struggle with how I am feeling about all the ugliness and horrible things going on in this world...before there seemed to be more good than bad and that made life more bearable...but these days, it seems that more and more bad is happening...so this is where I struggle...which is why I believe I've been unable to do what I really love to do...my artwork...I've been keeping myself busy with being creative...I have to do that...it's the only thing keeping me from getting too overwhelmed but I haven't been able to create my own original work for months.
In fact just a few weeks ago I was talking with my mom (who also happens to be my BFF) about how I can't seem to do my own original art these days...not even doodling or sketching...she brought up a good point...that maybe that part of me is dormant, you know asleep due to all the stress and challenges that my husband and I had endured this last year (getting our little girl and finalizing her adoption to the water damage in our home and on to other personal challenges)...well that thought really intrigued me...it totally made sense. Then my husband also mentioned to me to start with baby steps...which I have been trying out...but I guess I'm still struggling because I feel like how can I do my artwork knowing of all the crazy and ugly things happening in this world?
Then the Lord...in all his goodness reminded me of why I have been created to be an artist...why he made me this way...to do what I do...and why I need to continue to do it...the birds do not stop singing...they keep flying...they never doubt in what they do...and the little presence of them in my yard alone brings me much joy...they bring a smile to my face and healing...he wants me to not stop what he has designed for me to do...I may not be able to stop the horrors happening in the world but I can keep praying for the world...and I can keep being the creative person I am meant to be...if what I do touches only one...then I've done what I was meant to do.
Soooo after this long process of what has to be one of the longest times for me to self reflect of what it is I am meant to do in this world (in addition to being a wife, mommy, daughter, sister, auntie, and friend) I am meant to be an artist and it is important...I will keep this thought in my heart in each type of art or craft project I create...to bring a little piece of my joyfulness out into the world...to share it so that I can make others feel joy too!
As a way to accept this 'revelation' I have done something I don't think I could have done before...I am taking a step of Faith (which really feels more like a leap) and I have entered an art contest...well it's more like a talent search. Just days after realizing that I need to do something...move in a new direction...after praying for years but more so recently to the Lord about what is it exactly that I need to do with my art? I was somehow led to find this contest...Lila Rogers' Global Talent Search ~ now when I seen all the talent from last year, it really intimidated me...then I decided that I need to just 'go for it' to let myself "Just Bloom"! because even if I don't win...at least I am doing something different, I am moving in a different direction...I am believing in myself enough to do this!!
Thanks for letting me share...God bless! Cre8tvlyYrs, Gina
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