Monday, August 25, 2014

On Being Brave's the night before they are going to announce the top 50 contestants for Lilla Roger's Global Talent Search that will be moving on to the next round...and I am a little bit anxious...not a lot though but a little.  That in itself is surprising...I struggled with the 1st rounds challenge but only because I couldn't make up my mind in which direction I wanted to go with my project.  As I was struggling, even before I seen any of the other 998 contestants nor had any clue of any big contenders I began to wonder:  "What was I thinking when I signed up for this?"  I do know that had any clue of how many sign ups I may have not even tried.  But I'm glad that I did...even after signing up I told myself that it wouldn't matter if I am chosen or not (I would be very thrilled if I was...just saying) but to me the act of actually signing up was a statement that I was making to the world that I believe in myself enough to try!!

This experience is really a big step of bravery for me...I often would wish I would try then doubt myself...not my talent but see I have ADD/ADHD and I tend to get distracted or my super power that I like to call "SUPER FOCUS" (when I can zip out awesome artwork in a single all-nighter!!)  This way of being is what you can call a blessing mixed with a curse only because it has brought my both joy and also many heartaches (after missing deadlines of opportunities that have come my way).  Being that I am now 45 years old and finally a mommy I have decided to stop wasting my stop the self doubt and "Just Bloom".

When I was working on my project, I realized that I needed to stop trying to do too much and think of it as if it was commissioned work to make it more of what they where asking for in the assignment but with my style of painting resonating throughout.  We are not allowed to post our piece until the announcements are made of the Top 50 but I would like to share what I word and saying I used:  Faith ~ Believing in more than what the eyes can see.  This is soo true to my is what I have learned firsthand to be true...the Lord has brought me through so much bad and to so much good...I will continue to walk in my Faith...

My husband and I went through a very tough 2 year process to get our little girl and the fact that we accomplished this...that I myself survived the worst of what I never thought I'd experience this last year...well I realized that I am stronger than I thought, smarter than I knew, and capable of more than I could even imagine...all because I am not alone in this matter what I go through...the good and the Lord, my Father God, and Holy Spirit are there to lead, comfort and provide ways for me to achieve much more than I could even with all that in mind I will keep moving forward with bravery because I know that I am being led by my Lord and if I am not chosen it is the Lord's way of saying 'not this way' but if I am than there is the chance that it may be this way...either way...I only want to go the the Lord has planned for me to go!

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