Being the sensitive spiritual artist that I am, I often create whatever comes to my mind and then other times where the spirit leads me. Sometimes, I feel led to just write...really deep and insightful things that I normally put in my art journals or in my prayer/reflection/bible study journal. I feel as though there is so much I'd love to express in my art and writings but feel like I am holding myself back.
It's actually something that I've noticed I have done all my life...always afraid to take that leap of faith into the unknown. Yet, I know that I trust the Lord...I know he loves me and will take care of me. I am now daring to venture into that realm of the unknown...and honestly it scares me to tears. But I know that I have to and that I can because my Lord is with me.
Sometimes, however, with all my intentions to just let go...I keep holding on...like in holding on to a kite. My Lord is telling me to let him take my dreams to new heights...as he puts wings on our dreams...I say ok, let go, but wait...here I am holding on to that single thread like the string on a kite...afraid that I'll lose sight.
It is that constant struggle...but I am determined to keep trying...until I finally do let go. I am thrilled of where my Lord is planning to take me...and a little afraid at the same time. Like that moment when your sitting in the seat of a brand new rollercoaster ride. You see the world all around you and the dips and highs...waiting in anticipation for the ride to begin it's "take off"!
That's exactly where I'm at right now in my life...seriously to the point that I feel the fluttering in my belly and slight headache of being overwhelmed by it all!! Oh Lord, please never leave my side as I step forward, only because I know you are there holding my hand...and help me to be brave when you are asking me to step forward on my own...like when a father is teaching his daughter to walk...so that one day she may be able to run through a field of flowers and butterflies!